Ebook Purge: Rehab Diaries, by Nicole Johns
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Purge: Rehab Diaries, by Nicole Johns
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Purge is a beautifully crafted memoir that has a Girl, Interrupted feel. In this raw and engaging account of her months in rehab, Nicole Johns documents her stay in a residential treatment facility for eating disorders. Her prose is lucid and vivid, as she seamlessly switches verb tenses and moves through time. She unearths several important themes: body image and sexuality, sexual assault and relationships, and the struggle to piece together one's path in life. While other books about eating disorders and treatment may sugarcoat the harsh realities of living with and recovering from an eating disorder, Purge does not hold back. The author presents an honest, detailed account of her experience with treatment, avoiding the clichéd happily-ever-after ending while still offering hope to those who struggle with eating disorders, as well as anyone who has watched a loved one fight to recover from an eating disorder. Purge sends a message: though the road may be rough, ultimately there is hope.
- Sales Rank: #483350 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-03-17
- Released on: 2009-03-17
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
In her twenties, Ph.D. candidate Johns had an eating disorder not otherwise specified, both purging and restricting food. Readers go inside the treatment center that saved her life, experiencing therapy and the field trips with the author. If you could handle Girl, Interrupted, you can handle this unflinching work rooted in feminist self-reflection. --Library Journal, March 10, 2009
Nicole Johns offers unvarnished, unromanticized memoir in 'Purge: Rehab Diaries'
— by Amy Goetzman, MinnPost.com, July 8th, 2009
About the Author
Nicole Johns received her MFA from the University of Minnesota and a BA in English from Penn State University-Erie. Her eating disorder developed in high school and worsened in college. The summer after starting the MFA program, Nicole spent three months in treatment for her eating disorder. Nicole currently lives in Minneapolis with her fiancé, Brady Johnson. She has been in recovery from her eating disorder since 2005.
Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
Inside EDNOS: A Courageous Account of a Size 9 Woman's Eating Disorder Treatment
By Rachel Kramer Bussel
Purge chronicles Nicole Johns' memoir of her time in a eating disorders rehab center in Wisconsin for 88 days in 2004, when she was 23 years old, for EDNOS, a term meaning Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. The writing is stark, interspersed with clinical documents like her intake documents, guidelines from the clinic, and the $24,500 bill for her treatment ($15,500 was covered by her insurance).
While anyone who's read any other first-person accounts of eating disorders, or lived with one, will find much that's familiar here--stuffing one's feelings with food, trauma, body dismoprhia--there are several things different about Johns' story. She isn't a stick-thin anorexic, but rather a woman who's a size 9, who struggles with being at the upper end of the weight scale in the clinic. Yet by constantly purging (making herself vomit), she's wound up in the hospital and suffers from heart problems and had a concussion, along with other medical issues that will be with her for a long time, if not forever. She's also bisexual, though that isn't presented as a factor in her diagnosis; in fact, it's treated, refreshingly, as a nonissue, and seems to be a given to Johns.
When she writes things like, "My body has lost its integrity," it's something many, many women can relate to. Yet this is not a self-help book or one with a moral lesson per se. Johns is not holding herself up as an example, and in fact alludes to the danger of doing so when she writes that Marya Hornbacher's memoir Wasted is considered an "eating disorder bible" to many women suffering from eating disorders, and was banned from the treatment facility she attended.
Sometimes the point of view here is challenging, and I wished she had given us a little bit more of a glimpse of her current life, to see whether the back-and-forth nature of her attitude toward her eating disorder, which is omnipresent in the text presented, still holds. Yet Johns keeps her focus firmly on her time in treatment, with occasional hints of her growth in the years since. There are humorous moments, such as when one resident asks about the vibrator policy of the center (the therapist doesn't think they're allowed) and going skating with the elderly. There's repetition here that while probably deliberate, at times makes for tepid reading, but does mimic what surely was the repetitious days involved in her treatment.
Johns is at her best when telling the stories that are likely the most difficult for her; not the details of how and when and what she purged, but her feelings about and experiences with her family, and the possible date rape from her college advisor. These are told in a stark, direct way that serves to highlight these stories.
Purge is not an easy book, but an important one that will speak to those who've suffered eating disorders, known people who do or simply want to know more. The closing scene is a tearjerker, and highlights one of the biggest takeaways for me of Purge: the lasting, often life-threatening physical damage that can be done by bulimia. The medical reports that are included here certainly don't have the passion of her writing, but they can be just as chilling. Johns is open about how she didn't think she was doing that badly because she wasn't scrawny, and that is a reminder that one's outside appearance doesn't tell the entire story.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
A refreshing memoir
By Jersey-Tree-Huggin'-Hippie
Purge: Rehab Diaries is not your run-of-the-mill memoir of someone struggling with an eating disorder ... it offers a refreshing account of a young women struggling with EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified), which is often overlooked. It gives the outsider a detailed and honest look at what it's like to be suffering from EDNOS and then put into treatment. The memoir gives samples of documents from the treatment center she was in, including her perspective of things ... which often were much different than what was written about her. The book is graphic without being triggering (as many memoirs on this subject are) and truly gives anyone, one suffering from an eating disorder or a loved one, a good glimpse of life inside a treatment center. It is a perfect read for someone who feels like they are "not bad enough" to get help or wants to know exactly what it's like to get help. Definitely a refreshing first-hand account of the illness ... an easy read that you can't put down!
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Life in EDNOS, Life in Treatment
By amandapsychedelia
I finished the majority of this memoir in one night. Powerful book--very easy to read. Most people are only aware of anorexia and bulimia but Purge takes the reader inside the experience of a not-so-well-known eating disorder: EDNOS. (Which stands for Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.)
The book starts with an introduction by Nicole Johns in which she references Wasted by Marya Hornbacher. I wasn't sure how to take this: on one hand, she just referenced my favorite memoir and probably the most intense book out there that deals with the subject of eating disorders. On the other hand, I didn't want Purge to be a wannabe-Wasted. Turns out I didn't have to worry.
The book takes place during Johns' days of recovery in an eating disorder clinic. Not only does she take the reader through the hectic life of a person with EDNOS, she also takes them through the long hard road to recovery. The style has sort of a journal-like feel to it. (This is reflected by the first chapter which contains selected entry from Johns' diary.) This made the book feel a bit more personal, which is one of the things that made this book very powerful. A few chapters after the first were written in second person which I found a little bit annoying, but I won't sit here and complain about something as trivial as that.
The book really gets going when Nicole is checked into the clinic. We meet the other residents, as well as the staff, and we're all set to get familiar with the treatment from the moment of arrival. (I knew before that rehab centers had very strict rules--I didn't know the extent until I read this book. Some of the rules just seemed completely random; I would never have thought of half the policies and procedures Johns describes.)
I don't want to say too much about it, but the ending was a punch in the stomach. (And I mean that in a good way.) Though the whole book is affecting, the ending does a good job of capping it off and leaving the reader reeling.
Only one thing left me feeling a bit put off: I wish that Johns would have discussed her evolution into EDNOS a bit more thoroughly. As I said before, the story focuses on her stay in treatment and the most background that we get is that her parents wanted her to be perfect and that she developed her disorder when she was fourteen. I wanted to hear a bit more about the train ride to EDNOS: was there something specific that pushed her over the edge? What childhood incidents defined her choice? When did she make the conscious decision to engage in ED behavior? Was there ever a conscious incident at all, or did she one day just find herself purging?
Perhaps a companion book detailing how she got from Point A to Point B would be ideal to compliment this one. (Perhaps one is already in the works--I would certainly buy it.) But nonetheless, this book is a keeper. If you like memoirs, check it out. If you liked Wasted and want something more, check it out. If you often find yourself in the addiction/recovery section of Barnes and Noble, check it out. You won't be disappointed.
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