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Why does society applaud a girl who falls for a guy’s “big blue eyes” yet denounces one who chooses a man with a “big green bankroll”? After all, isn’t earning power more a reflection of a man’s values and character? Smart Girls Marry Money challenges the ideals and assumptions women have blindly accepted about love and marriage—and shows how they’ve done so at their own economic peril. In this brazen manifesto, authors Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake use cold hard facts, real science, and true stories to present a compelling case for why mercenary marriages make the most sense for future happiness.
Smart Girls taps into a growing, collective suspicion that the post-feminist world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Female “empowerment” has women working hard to look sexier than ever, while carrying more than their fair share financially. Yet sadly, statistics prove that: not only do women continue to earn far less than their male counterparts, they also suffer far more economically when marriages fail. Ford and Drake think it’s high time that women get their heads out of the clouds and start caring about their own security—the kind that can be measured in dollars and common sense. With an irreverent, straight-talk tone, the authors serve up a sound case and intriguing strategy for how women can truly “have it all.” Sure to spark conversation and controversy, Smart Girls Marry Money will ultimately empower women with a new way to take control of both their economic and romantic lives.
- Sales Rank: #686399 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-05-05
- Released on: 2009-05-05
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"'Smart Girls Marry Money comes off as a big-sisterly catalogue of things they wish their mother had told them.....It's a satirical book, full of puns and wisecracks.' Metro"
About the Author
Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake, MD present statistics, data, and plenty of real-life stories on how women are getting shafted by their own romantic expectations. Their sound argument and entertaining treatise was published in 2009 and was featured on CNN.com, Newsweek.com, The Wall Street Journal, among other forums. Both Elizabeth, an Emmy-award-winning news producer, and Daniela, a former McKinsey consultant and full-time physician, live in Los Angeles.
Most helpful customer reviews
35 of 41 people found the following review helpful.
Setting the clock back 100 years
By viv777
Well, the core advice they give is poorly reasoned and has potentially awful consequences if followed, but the authors did include a couple of home truths and the writing was pretty entertaining - so two stars. I read it in the bookstore, lying the front cover flat on my knee so that people wouldn't see the title.
Agreed with the part about how romantic love isn't enough to sustain a lasting relationship. Agreed that you must take into account a person's financial security to some extent before making a decision to commit to them. And that goes, by the way, for men as well as women. Agreed that women still have it tougher in the workplace than men do.
But I'm a little confused about the leap from those truths to the conclusion that a woman's best route to success is marrying rich.
The authors employ some really shoddy reasoning to make their point. So, it's great if you marry a rich guy and he divorces you and you get millions in alimony. But then they include a whopper of a sentence that made me giggle out loud, about how the female ex-CEO of Hewlett Packard got fired after a few years on the job and this was proof that the business world was still a boys' club (because male CEOs never get fired) and then: Carly Fiorina "struggled to piece her life back together, after receiving a $21 million severance package."
Huh? So a multi-million dollar "severance package" from a divorce spells success, but the same severance package from Hewlett Packard does not? In what world is the failure of a marriage more easily recovered from than the loss of a job, given equal financial gains from each?
I suppose if you see your marriage as nothing more than a ticket to Park Avenue, then this makes sense.
And while they emphasize, underline, italicize the continuing existence of the glass ceiling, they do admit that women can attain mid-level positions with comfortable salaries without needing to bust that ceiling. So, a woman can make a comfortable living these days, although she's not as likely to make partner as her male coworkers are. I dunno - if you really live your life for Prada and mansions, then I guess it still makes sense to latch onto a rich husband. But life isn't the filthy rich vs. broke dichotomy that the authors present - there's plenty of middle ground that women can access by themselves, and personally speaking I'd rather bump along on a salary I'm responsible for earning than trust my financial well-being to the good graces and continued financial success of another person.
Also, what about pre-nups? I'd like to see what the authors say about those.
The quit-your-career-and-marry-rich thing would lead to some pretty ugly consequences if a significant number of women did it. The authors actually summarize the history of feminism without denouncing it, all the way from the first struggles for the vote through the decade-by-decade gains in the workplace up until the present day. It should be clear from their summary that women today are closer to equal than ever before because of a large number of women over the past several generations who did NOT marry rich and retire to tennis and shopping instead of carving out careers and agitating for their rights. If a lot of women suddenly dropped their careers to focus on marriage, you can bet that we'd see diminishing opportunities for women overall, and then less political representation as women lost financial power. That may be water under the bridge for women who manage to find kind rich men willing to support them for the rest of their lives and who don't actually aspire to more than that, but it's not particularly wonderful for the majority of women. And if women ignore the bad advice and keep on with their careers, then it's probable that the glass ceiling will grow less and less restrictive over time - as has been happening up to the present day.
This book really caters to the jaded part of women - after experiencing enough misogyny and romantic woes, it's tempting to think "Hell with love, men are bastards, I'll marry rich and get what I can out of it!" The authors also do a good job of convincing the reader that pretty much anyone can get a rich, wonderful man to take care of them. But though the message is nice and pat, I know that I couldn't be happy practicing it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
That's not even saying anything about how unfair it is to entice a man into marriage by pretending that you truly care about him when you're only there for his money. There's nothing praiseworthy about "succeeding" in doing that, and the "success" stories in the book were truly cringe-worthy when I took into account that the other person in the story was a real live human being.
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful.
Brilliant Book With Some Painful Truths
By La Dolce Vita
The romantic idealist who believes love can conquer all will be offended by this book. The woman who has been through a failed relationship or two and wasted her time with dreamers, schemers or Peter Pan's will appreciate this book. It's filled with information about the divorce rate as well as the chemical process of "falling in love," which is akin to drug addiction with this "love high" lasting about 18-24 months. It puts forth such concepts as "Don't squander your beauty" and "Don't marry a man for his potential." I found it to be a very fascinating and worthwhile read. I only wish I'd read it five years earlier.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Reality backed by science. Finally!!
By Danielle
This book is so dead on it rips it's vampirish teeth through the heart of any hard working, career woman. With that said I think it's a progressive type of fear and far from outdated like some of the comments suggest. What I assume intensifies the pain for these female readers is their testosterone driven work environments, which as the authors point out, are making them fight back like paranas where as if they just acknowledged some of the simple, subtle, beautiful truths in life they would realize three things. Mainly that they are one of the simple, subtle, beautiful truths of life & men naturally want to provide for them. Second, that if you let your career lead successful men will NEVER be attracted to you-- They need and value your emotional support because emotional support is entirely vacant and underrepresented in the boardroom. Lastly, that their quest for independence rather than entitlement is laced with suffrage, sexual dissatisfaction, low wages and emotional repression.
Let's look at a few examples that lead me to this conclusion.
In reality you can work your entire life and never make partner. Have babies and feel like a total sham for who you are pretending to be in a man's world when you are a woman and should be allowed to be home with your baby no guilt. Now, there are careers that support the female way of being be it teaching, nursing, psychology, physical therapy, hair cuttery-- softer, much softer arenas. But then there are those career fields driven by men, engineering, law, medicine, finance, finance, oh and did I mention finance?? CEO, CPA, business owner etc, $$$ are all men. Sure there are women succeeding in these fields but I can guarantee as the authors point out that a) Men are intimidated even if it's subconsciously by their boardroom counterparts. And though this will never cross your ears any female working in that environment even the receptionist, unless they are sexually attractive and know how to use it-- which many don't because they are financially stressed or insecure-- will be overlooked. What the successful man knows that you don't is that he has hot happy wife at home and that's all that matters. --> Rational line of thinking is If you were hot and confident enough you'd be able to score him or someone like him.
B) They will never be sexually attracted to you, which was an innate simple, subtle, beautiful power, since you demanded your power in the workforce: You lost it. As a young woman your sexuality is invaluable, priceless and worth more than it's weight in gold. Literally. Why would you do anything to self sabotouge this? Trying to make your way up the ladder will inevitibely hurt your relationship with your husband and in turn your children. And the subtle truth is anything that raises your confidence too high, will not make you attractive to successful men. They want you to place your confidence is US, WE and HIM. If you are not willing to do that or think you are more important, you will struggle more than you are willing to admit with yourself and your place in the world. These women's thought fallacy, if I may politely say, is that female power is complete monetary independence. Power for women is not independence. It's never been. It's relationship, social skills, how you relate to others, confidence and emotional availability.
Women, you can go to work in your field with blinders on and pretend you are progressing due to the money in your pocket. What you are failing to see is the men above and around you working 1/2 as hard and making 5 times and much. YES 5 times as much. This means when they go home, their wife WHO DOESNT WORK will get your salary and then some without breaking her back, crying in the bathroom or dealing with the testosterone insanity of the work place. Do it for your confidence sure, but don't do it because you think it will make your husband happier, your family happier or you happier.
Conclusion, we are all slaves for the man which do you want to be? The underdog co-worker who never gets gift, suffers low wages and is cutting everything is half with her husband at home who works 1/2 as hard as her and is probably a stress in and of himself(or worse he barely works at all) OR the wife who stays at home, get's treated well, has her space and freedom to roam and is financially secure. I've heard about all these middle grounds-- middle careers--There is no middle ground ladies, sure you can make it in real estate and make it work with someone you love long term. But the truth is your career drive will turn him off he will probably cheat on you and you will have to overlook it along with carrying the weight of a career. Or you will get bored of him and meet someone else while you are out shaking your tail feather. Get real ladies. Get real.
If you are a woman and make it high enough up the ladder you will discover there is no such thing as gender equality.
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