Download Ebook Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, by Jenny Block
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Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, by Jenny Block
Download Ebook Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, by Jenny Block
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Finally, a book about open marriage that grapples with the problems surrounding monogamy and fidelity in an honest, heartfelt, and non-fringe manner. Jenny Block is your average girl next door, a suburban wife and mother for whom married life never felt quite right. While many books on this topic presuppose that the reader is ready to embrace an “alternative lifestyle,” Block operates from the assumption that most couples who are curious about or engaged in open marriages are in fact more like her — normal people who question whether monogamy is right for them; good people who love their spouses but want variation; capable parents who are not deviant just because they choose to be honest about their desires. Open challenges our notions of what traditional marriage looks like, and presents one woman's journey down an uncertain path that ultimately proves open marriage is a viable option for her and others.
- Sales Rank: #172713 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-02-10
- Released on: 2009-02-10
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Break Out the Rose-Colored Glasses
By Dan Young
This book is a readable memoir and a offers some thoughtful reflections on how the author chose open marriage and what her experiences have been. But it's a fairy tale when it comes to what open marriage really involves. Everything just magically works, partly because she has the easy side of the coin (she has multiple partners, but her husband does not). So jealousy, time conflicts, attention conflicts, insecurities, competing intimacy needs, family and relationship emergencies, vacations (and being left out of vacations), child-rearing dilemmas, the taken-for-granted feeling, uncomfortable relations with ex-partners, using the other partner to escape difficult conversations/confrontations, feelings of violated privacy, broken agreements (or agreements stretched to the breaking point), the unforgivable sin of comparing partners out loud, overly needy partners, crazy NRE (new relationship energy), sexy young things making you feel old and getting older, money spent on the wrong partner, loneliness, the complexities of compersion (and what to do when it doesn't exist), overcontrolling your partner's relationships, etc. etc. - in other words, all the messiness of actual open relationships - simply don't exist in this book. The author complains about the glossed-over expectations of monogamy, but offers an equally glossed-over portrait of polyamory. Recommended antidote: Sadie Smythe, Open all the Way.
156 of 192 people found the following review helpful.
A voyeuristic look into the life of a second-wave feminist with an entitlement mentality run amok.
By Kon Tiki
The Bookslut review nails it: [...]
I have no issue with the practice of polyamory. My issue is with the messenger. Jenny is a clever woman who easily wins people over with her warm demeanor and self-deprecating wit. However, I cannot take what she says at face value. Her book is supposed to be about open "marriage", but it has been (rather sheepishly) dedicated to her girlfriend. This subtle but cavalier gesture underscores the self-centered attitude that drives the story within.
We learn of Jenny's amazing power to attract youthful lesbian lovers who previously identified as straight ("whee"). We learn how she cheated on her spouse for the simple reason that she really, really likes having sex with other people (who doesn't?). And we learn how her husband is "the rock" in a marriage where he seemingly only exists to help her reach "the sky"... her girlfriend. How nice. I'm sure every spouse, male or female, aspires for such a role.
I agree with Jenny that our culture is overdue for a reexamination of monogamy. This simply isn't the book to accomplish it. Jenny is bisexual and has an arrangement that allows for male and female lovers if she so decides. However, other bisexuals practice a form of "gender monogamy" in which only partners of the same gender are allowed. Still others consider themselves sexually monogamous but engage in extramarital emotional relationships. Essentially, we can live as we please as long as it is for the betterment of everyone involved. Which is why it would be nice to hear the argument from her husband's perspective instead of exclusively from a person who is so gung-ho about wanting it all, at any cost.
If mainstream America is ever going to buy into this lifestyle, we need more than lip service and a ring on the cover. We need the whole story. As it stands, "Open" would make a better episode of "Desperate Housewives" than an instructional course in Polyamory 101. It may be a lurid and honest story, but it fails to persuade.
What value is honesty in the absence of honor? Not much, I'm afraid.
47 of 58 people found the following review helpful.
Open should be Closed
By Falsified Glamour
I am an extremely open minded individual with many friends who are in open relationships. It's what works for them, and I respect that. Jenny Block does not seem so open minded, as she simply berates and puts down monogamous relationships throughout her book. She compares monogamous relationships to "big 80's hair," by saying these relationships are unhealthy, impossible to sustain, and are only good for keeping up appearances. I picked up this book hoping to get an insider's view on why open relationships work, but was instead treated to a 270 page thesis about why my monogamous relationship is antiquated and doomed to fail.
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